I saw my therapist on Saturday, for the first time in about a month. I was grateful to have this kind, non-judgemental, and understanding woman's ear for an hour. We covered a wide swath of topics in that short period. (I have a talent for that- jumping from the Catholic church, to my mother, to blogging, to dogs, in a matter or mere seconds!)
The thread that ties all these topics together is spirit. It is my spirit- my inner most self, the essence of what makes Sojourner Sojourner- that leads me, guides me, DRAWS me to everything I do, think, or say. My spirit is the part that longs for community, longs for experiences which germinate the seeds of life, longs to reach out to the light and warmth of the sun, to interact with the other spirits and forces around me to generate love, life, and more light. It is my spirit that toils for healing, strives for connection with the Church, my mother, other sojourners, and even the animals around me.
What, or who, is the source of this longing? There are some very complex dichotomies here. I don't even know if I can put them into words. The source of our being is Creator, the core of our being is Creator, is Creator, then, the source of this longing? Therefore, is longing the nature or our being? Longing draws us on; keeps us moving in the direction of that which is longed for.
I see from this the reason why spirals are such a meaningful symbol for me. You can start from the inside and work your way out, or you can start from the outside and work your way in- it really doesn't matter because before you are finished you are going to do both, over and over again. The whole journey is contained in this symbol. All the questions are there.
There we are, fellow bloggers, on a journey, a quest if you will, to fulfull our longings.
5 comments:
I don't know, my squirrelly friend. I'm not sure I believe in a creator.
I do believe, however, in the power of community. I think that loving people makes us more human. And for me, that's where the longing comes from. I am not quite myself or not quite what I could be without loving other people.
Longing is not a bad thing, here. It is as I said: the force that keeps us moving AND loving. It is a drive to keep connecting. Without longing I would sit in a stagnant heap and do nothing.
longing can be a good thing,in my first marriage when I was on a tempory duty asignment,I was longing to be back with Mary.Since I could not be with her I chose the second companion the I was in love with my booze.before I went into the service that was not part of the equasion for my life.
Now a days I'm greatful fore a couple of things,my soberity,wy loveing second wife,my long time land lasting marriage.My bloggong friends are part of the things I enjoy as well along with my Hammered Dulicmer.
what an interesting conversation, you are making me muse about the Buddhist idea of attachment and desire being harmful... but i tend toward your celebration of the longing. and I so agree with you and Prof J about the the power of community and love. I so like your trees and lanterns and rocks in your header and pics on this post. thanks for sharing your internal quest a bit, it resonates with me.
I have a great non judgemental doctor as well we bounce around as well.Have a doctor of that attitude is great you can let your "hair" down and open your self up with out worry of being attacked as I have had in the past,that's why they are no longer my couselors.I digress.
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